my future~

sejak-sejak dah habis diploma ni dalam kepala aku sekarang pikir pasal masa depan.

aku pun tak tahu aku ni nak jadi apa.

sebelum ni aku ikut je flow hidup aku.

apa yang aku dapat tu la yang aku belajar.

apa mak abah suruh buat tu la yang aku buat.

tapi bila dah umur 21 ni semua nya dah kena pikir sendiri.

mak abah pun dah tak masuk campur sangat pasal masa depan aku.

yang diorang nak aku ada kerja tetap je.

kalau dulu asyik push aku asyik tanam dalam otak aku jadi doktor.

tapi sekarang diorang dah tak kisah.

mintak maaf mak abah sebab tak dapat jadi doktor.

anak mu ini memang bengap sains. HAHAHA

tapi abah ada la nasihat jugak suruh mintak SPA tu.

dia suruh isi SPA tu sebab SPA senang.

nanti kerja dengan government dah senang hidup. dah ada pencen.

then dia kata sambung degree tu boleh buat time kerja nanti.

buat PJJ atau part time belajar macam abang aku.

tapi abang aku pulak target aku untuk masuk program pensyarah muda.

aku tertarik jugak dengan rancangan abang aku tu.

lagipun aku memang nak sambung degree.

hmm tapi kewangan je la masalah aku.

hmmmmm......tak tahu pulak aku being a grown up could be so difficult.

aku dah tak tahu apa yang aku inginkan dalam hidup sekarang ni~

it's hard isn't it?

Don't break my heart slow

I like the way you wanted me 
Every night for so long baby 
I like the way you needed me 
Every time things got rocky 

I was believing in you 
Was I mistaken do you mean 
Do you mean what you say 
When you say our love could last forever 

But I'd rather you be mean than love and lie 
I'd rather hear the truth and have to say goodbye 
I'd rather take a blow at least then I would know 
But baby don't you break my heart slow 

I like the way you'd hold me 
Every night for so long baby 
I like the way you'd sing to me 
Every time the things got rocky 

I was believing in you 
Was I mistaken do you say 
Do you say what you mean 
When you say our love could last forever 
 
Cause I'd rather you be mean than love and lie 
I'd rather hear the truth and have to say goodbye 
I'd rather take a blow at least then I would know 
But baby don't you break my heart slow 

You'd run around and lead me on forever 
While I stay at home still thinking we're together 
I wanted our love to last forever

love this pain

She's no good for me, I know that she's a wildflower
She's got a restlessness, a beautiful mess thing about her
But here I am again, calling her back
Letting her drive me crazy

It's like I love this pain a little too much
Love my heart all busted up
Something bout her, we just don't work
But I can't walk away
It's like I love this pain

It's just an on again and off again situation
It's a striking match, a tank of gas combination
But here I am again lighting it up
Knowing that she'll just burn me

It's like I love this life, where nothing's right less something's wrong
It's like I'm just not me If I can't be a sad sad song

It's like I love this pain
It's like I love this pain


*in my case, 'she' changed to 'he'. Life is hard.

he was a history

ok i'm happy.
why?
we chat using yahoo messenger about 30 minutes ago.
it has been a long time i didn't hear any news from him.
and suddenly his chat box pop out on my screen.

i do miss him a lot.
i was in love with him.

but today, no heart beat as always.
maybe because my feelings toward him has gone.
or maybe because i left my heart to someone who doesn't love me.

love is sucks man~
shoot!

i wish i could turn back time~

aku nak buang otak aku ni then gantikan dengan otak baru leh tak?
sebab aku dah tak nak ingat segala benda lama yang pernah aku buat dulu.
aku nak lupakan kenangan silam.
aku nak start hidup baru.
aku dah tak nak ingat langsung apa yang terjadi masa aku masih budak2 hingusan.
tapi nak start new life pun tak boleh sebab kenangan silam aku asyik datang menghantui aku.
aku dah tak tahu nak buat apa.
kadang2 tu aku rasa nak kembali masa zaman aku naif tak tahu apa-apa.
then aku nak jadi budak yang baik je.
supaya no regrets at all bila aku dah besar.
tapi tu semua hanya angan2 je.
benda tu takkan boleh berlaku.
so apa yang boleh aku buat supaya aku tak ingat lagi pasal benda2 silam aku ni?
hmmm.......aku cuma nak buang kenangan pahit aku je.

the truth~

The truth is I never had a real date and a real love~

I wish someday I will have them both~

I wish I could be like them in this video too. So sweet! ^_^